


You're Not My Boyfriend!

by Ashii Black (ashiiblack)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Drunken Kissing, Friendship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-05 01:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11567430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashiiblack/pseuds/Ashii%20Black
Summary: Yuri tells his friends about the time he couldn't tell Otabek and JJ apart.





	You're Not My Boyfriend!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for catfishpromptparty on Tumblr. The prompt was: “I’m really drunk and I’m gonna kiss you cause–wait you’re NOT my boyfriend”
> 
> This prompt took me a LOT of places but ultimately I wanted to keep things fluffy and (mostly) clean. I was inspired by the Tumblr post that keeps popping up in my feed about "is that JJ or Otabek in that art?"
> 
> Special thanks to Icicle for the quick beta!

"To the Grand Prix Final!"

Everyone clinked their glasses together, taking quite a while because there were so many people. Yuri only clinked Otabek's and Viktor's before downing the entire glass. He hated these big get-togethers.

It had been three years since Yuri's premier in the senior division. Since then, Yuri had begun dating Otabek shortly after Viktor and Yuuri's wedding. Even though Otabek was shy, he seemed to get along with the other skaters very well. Whenever they had competitions, Otabek always invited everyone to dinners or brunches. Yuri always hated it when JJ came along.

JJ was still calling himself King JJ, still flashing that stupid JJ pose, and being generally obnoxious. He had married Isabella and quickly divorced. Yuri could have told him their relationship wouldn't have worked out. JJ was far too young for marriage.

"Be careful with that champagne, Yuri. You're a sloppy drunk."

Yuri glared at JJ, who was giving him a wide grin. Otabek kicked Yuri under the table. "Be nice."

The rest of the table had grown silent, watching the exchange. They seemed to love it when he and JJ fought. It only made sense, considering they were the only people who could beat the other when they were in peak form. He swallowed several insults and took in a deep breath. "I can monitor my drinking without help from you, JJ."

"I just remember the last time you got really drunk."

Yuri saw red and he threw his fork at JJ, who caught it easily. "Sounds like you remember too."

Leo looked ready to die from anticipation. "What happened the last time he got drunk?"

Otabek looked like he would rather be anywhere but at the table. Viktor seemed to remember as well and started laughing, whispering the story to Yuuri, who began to laugh as well.

"Do you want to tell the story, Princess, or shall I?"

Yuri gritted his teeth. "I made a mistake. It's as simple as that."

"Don't leave us with just that, Yuri. You _have_ to tell the whole story." Mila took a sip from her champagne flute and looked at him expectantly.

"Fine. Do you remember the big party we had in PyeongChang last year? The one with the ice sculptures and the drinking contests?"

Everyone nodded. JJ sat back, looking smug. Yuri wanted to punch his stupid face in, but knew he would tell it far worse than he would.

"I matched J.R. Celski shot for shot nine times. I was a fucking wreck after that. I could barely stand, let alone see. Otabek was filling in as a DJ, so I went to the dance floor to find him."

"Don't leave out the part where you sang along to Kesha."

"Shut up, _asshole_. Anyways, I wanted to find Beka. It had been a while since I saw him. So I heard the DJs switching out and I waited for Otabek to walk out so I could surprise him."

"He surprised Otabek alright."

Yuri turned and glared at JJ. "Do _you_ want to tell the rest of the story?"

"Absolutely." JJ cleared his throat. "I had gone to request that Otabek play 'Theme of King JJ' after my win that day only to find that the DJs had been switched. The new DJ had no idea what my song was, so I went to get my phone to send him the MP3. However, I got a bit distracted by the Ice Tiger of Russia thrusting his tongue into my mouth."

" _What_?" Leo stared at JJ.

JJ laughed. "He said, 'I need you,' and started kissing me. Well, you know the king can't help but kiss back a little bit. But once the kitten decided to get more physical, I pulled away. What was it you said, Yuri?"

Yuri spoke in a very quiet voice. "I said you weren't my boyfriend."

Otabek thunked his head on the table. Viktor and Yuuri burst out laughing again. JJ looked far too smug for his own good.

Leo squinted at JJ, then at Otabek, comprehension dawning on his face. "You thought JJ was Otabek?"

Yuri gritted his teeth so hard it hurt and nodded. Leo joined Viktor and Yuuri in laughing. Otabek sat up and turned to Yuri.

"I'm half a foot shorter than him. I still don't understand."

"I don't know, Beka. I really don't remember much of that night."

"Oh, Otabek. Don't be jealous. I don't even think he remembers kissing me."

This was mostly true; Yuri remembered more of the reaction he had once he realized he had kissed JJ Leroy instead of his boyfriend. He knew the kiss had been nice, but he'd never admit that to anyone, _especially_ not to JJ.

"I barely remember it. I just remember thinking that it didn't feel right."

"Right and then you punched me in the face when you realized it was me. That seemed a bit excessive, if you ask me."

"I didn't."

There was an awkward pause, and then Viktor spoke up. "Did I ever tell you all about the time I found Yuuri making out with a statue of a knight?"

This time it was Yuuri's turn to groan and cover his face with his hands.

Yuri shot Viktor a grateful look as he began to tell the next story.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [Tumblr](https://ashiiblack.tumblr.com/) where I ship every YOI pairing under the sun!


End file.
